last week i was all excited to finally have some time to blog on computer, and then, i sprain my right arm. thursday, i went to a casting for a television commercial where they needed a model to skate. being the overachiever i am i did my super best to get the job, and pulled a spectacular move at the end that resulted in me slamming down on my wrist. being that i've spent my pocket money for the week i have to wait in pain until monday to see if i broke it by xray. no one at the ice rink really cared, my agency didn't really care except to know if i could do the job on friday--which i did. one of the models was saying to me, anina, why you want to kill yourself for a few hundred bucks? she's right. why should anyone go out of their way to give the extra mile? why should one give all you've got--cuz in the end no one would take me to the hospital and pay the xray. not the casting director, not my agent, not the rink. sio i'm lying in bed thinking after yesterdays job where i had to jump all day with this sprained arm. why did i do it? for a few bucks. to not give the job to another girl. to work with that client. it is what makes me anina. that i'm the type who will go above and beyond and put myself at risk. and when others take that fall for me, i'll cover their collateral damage. it is i think what separates the achievers from the pack. but is it good? is it wise? is it smaart to take risks for others even if after they will leave you to suffer alone the consequences? if not, then i may never go out of my house again, cross the street, or get on a plane, right. i may as well just go back to michigan and live in a field where no one is around for 1000 km. i really understand why people do that. because then the interaction with other humans need never get to be a lot. just a few monthly smiles as you pass to get supplies. in the dense jungle of cities, where you need people to take risks for you, i think you'd better step up to the plate after and make sure that the ones taking the risks for you on your time are covered. otherwise, it's just a jumgle world out there. nothing civilised. can you believe i typed all that with only my left hand? this is the chance now to strengthen my left handed side! what doesn't kill you makes you harder i think. and we were talking yesterday about how the human body is so amazing. i'm watching it heal now. we sit around moaning that we are too fat or too this or that, but the truth is, this suit we wear is amazing. when i'm well again, i may start jogging again and not worry so much about my hips measurement. i think i'll feel less guilty for lying around and thinking, sleeping. this is the call to slow down on the overachieving.
